
Female clients and friends often chat with me about their dating lives. I have come to realize the largest problem people face today when dating is that one person (usually the woman) has a disproportionate interest in the person she is seeing. It is understandable that when there are problems in a relationship and someone we care about hurts us, we want to feel like there is an interest to communicate and work things out. Even if there can't be a mutual solution it is nice to know the other person has some interest to try to make things better. However, I notice many men are incredibly careless with the people they date. Women tell me they wish they lost weight or got a better job to show their ex-boyfriend he made a mistake in dumping them. But it is hard to make a person jealous or rethink an action when the other person has little emotional investment. I think many men would be surprised that the reason there are so many angry women is that they just want to feel like they matter to the men they are dating. If you are ready for love, it is human nature to want to feel acknowledged and cared for. But what happens when you are wronged and the other person doesn't care. How do you seek justice for wrongdoing? After much discussion and meditation, I realized you can't. Unfortunately, you really just have to forget about and ignore those people that hurt you. You can't force someone to feel jealous because you have a great life, a hot boyfriend, a fabulous career, etc. You can't force someone to care about your wellbeing. You can't emotionally reach someone who doesn't care. An analogy would be like trying to beat someone at a game of cards who has no interest in playing...The truth is simple. If the person you are dating had feelings for you, they would not hurt you to begin with. So I tell my friends and clients this. If you want to up the chances of having a successful relationship by 1000 % only date people who have the emotional capacity and readiness to love and deeply care about you. This will eliminate the largest obstacle facing daters today...Namely, if the person you are dating actually wants to be dating you.